It's not goodbye, just see ya later..

Today is the day I say goodbye to my great grandma, a beautifully strong amazing woman. A woman who has given me the courage to know life isn't easy but it sure as hell is worth it. As my heart breaks standing by her bed saying not goodbye but I will see you later. As I reached down to hold her frail hand in mine I was hoping she would look up at me and say "I love you more." like she always would when I would leave her house. Like I've posted before, us Becks do NOT like goodbyes, that's why I told her I will see ya later. Soon she will be gone physically but will forever be with me spiritually guiding me through my life.. I knew this moment would come just wish it wasnt this soon.. For me this is the second "goodbye" I have said in one week. All I can say is God is good, I hurt right now but I willl not shatter because these two beautiful women I have lost this week would beat me silly. Or as my grandma used to say she would manock me! Yes she was a feisty one, and always put up a good fight.. Till we meet again Grandma, I'll be thinking of you and using all the dirty Spanish words you taught us, I love you. Rest in peace.